


Other shorts and not so shorts

by Attemptedwords



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 23:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3628317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attemptedwords/pseuds/Attemptedwords





	Other shorts and not so shorts

“D’ya want a smoke?” Alec snapped awake from an unsettled nap to find a cigarette packet dancing too close to his eyes; he swatted it away.

“No, stop shaking it in my face - it’s annoying.” He closed his eyes again and tried to face away from the driver’s seat where she sat tapping the cigarette packet against the steering wheel. “That’s annoying too.” He mumbled.

“What’s with you?” She smirked and stopped the tapping, only to start picking at a scab on her arm.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“D’ya want a smoke then?”

“I said no, leave me alone.”

“You look shattered, mate.” He opened his eyes and turned back – there was no way she would be able to let him rest now.

“I feel shattered.”

“I slept loads last night. You still getting used to the hours?”

“No.”

“S’it the van then? I tell you, these seats are well better than Gary’s truck.”

“Nope, you were snoring.”

“I weren’t!”

“Yes you bloody were! When you were supposed to be on look out, too!”

“I weren’t, I do-“

“It’s wasn’t!”

“Y’what?”

“Ugh, never mind.”

“I don’t snore.”

“Do.” He closed his eyes again and placed his feet onto the dashboard.

“You need to cheer up, Alec, you wasn’t like this last week.”

“Didn’t have to sleep near you back then.” She punched his arm playfully.

“So d’ya want one, then?” The packet returned, dancing too close to his   
aching eyes.

“Please stop it, I’m not in the mood.”

“Only offering. What’s gotten into Lord Grumpy this morning?”

“No wonder Gary refused to take patrols with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You never shut up!” The cigarette packet soon found its self being thrown in   
Alec’s general direction. “And you have bad aim.”

“Still better than you, though, aren’t I – remember them cans? Got ‘em all, you got 4, Gary got none – that’s why Gary won’t patrol with me.”

“Because you can beat him in a shooting game?”

“Gary’s one of them people that cares about their pride – never shuts up about some brave thing or other that he’s managed,” she sniggered, “whether it’s true or not is a different matter!”

“The inside of his car smells too.”

“That’s from a thing that happened last year – you weren’t around back then.”

“What happened?”  
She sighed, “Just another war story; Gary’ll tell it different, but it pretty much goes like this – Gary and me head up to the Crackles’ farm up on the moor, all kitted out – vests and everything, all new – there’d been reports of some sightings nearby, so we headed up there in the truck.”

“Just the two of you sounds pretty dangerous!”

“Quite early on, government hadn’t made up all these team rules like now – used to head round alone on patrol, and two of us for missions – weren’t unusual.”

“Anyway, go on.”

“Yeah so me and Gary head to Crackles’ farm in the truck, ‘n when we get there, there’s nobody around, right, so we take some of the new weapons, and split up heading round the farm buildings. So I’m checking out the milking parlour when I hear this terrible scream coming from the hay shed – so I run over, and you won’t believe me, but this high pitched scream turns out to be Gary. Turns out he was halfway to the cow shed when he saw something move and headed into the hay shed – it were getting pretty dark but we’d left the torches in the truck halfway down the drive – so he’d marched in there in near darkness to find near 20 of the big bastards feasting on a cow carcass!”

“That’s disgusting.”

“The smell were foul, right, but we knew we’d have to get rid of the lot of them. So we get the charges out the truck and put ‘em all round the hay shed and set the box up far enough away – they were too busy on their cow to notice us at that point – so we bring the shed down around them, and kill the lot of them – the explosion were massive!” She mimed the explosion excitedly with sound effects.

“What’s that got to do with his truck?”

“Well we underestimated the charges and used far too much of the stuff, to the point that cow carcass and bits of the fleshers come flying everywhere around us – all over the truck, all over us, everywhere. So we head back once we’ve checked the whole farm and found nothing, and get cleaned up, clean the truck, and go for a pint.” She started to giggle, “We get to the pub, and nearly gag everyone in there – we were so used to the smell by then that we hadn’t noticed that we stunk to high heaven of shredded fleshers and cow – and we get kicked out and end up hanging out in the truck instead. Next day, we’re heading up to the farm again, and the smell still hasn’t gone – turns out spending ages in the van has made the smell stick.”

“And it still stinks to this day – lovely!”

“Don’t mention it to Gary, though, he doesn’t admit it were his fault for   
putting too many charges out.”

“That’s a pretty good story.”

“Yeah, you missed all the action while you were off getting educated, or whatever.”

“You missed all the education fun while you were off blowing up rotters with Gary.”

“I think I know where I’d rather have been!”

“You’re probably right. But it was fun to start with – until this all started and everyone was panicking, lectures cancelled, parties cancelled, half the campus deserted after a rogue attack.”

“I didn’t know you’d seen any of this stuff happen before you came home?”

“Not much, but it felt like a war zone once everyone went home to their families – it felt like we were the only ones left, so we headed home too.”

“So you missed all the action here by being out there, then missed all the action there by coming home.”

“Yeah, pretty much – I heard that half the campus was up in flames only a few days after I came home!”

"You got lucky with that, then.”

“And managed to miss all the fun.”

“Aw, Alec, there’s plenty of fun left here!”

“Patrols and pubs?”

“It’s fun!”

“I’m bored of it already!”

“There’ll be more action soon – Gary told me there’s going to be another war.”

“Gary is full of lies.”

“Just you wait, Alec, just you wait.”


End file.
